Ooh
Yeah
This will be an everlasting love
This will be the one Iīve waited for
This will be the first time anyone
Has loved me-e-e
Ooo-oh
Loving you is some kind of wonderful
Because youīve shown me just how much you care
Youīve given me the thrill of a lifetime
And made me believe youīve got more thrills to spare, oh
This will be You and me
Yessiree Eternally
Hugginī and squeezinī and kissinī and pleasinī
Together forever through rain and whatever
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah You and me
So long as līm livinī True love līll be givinī
To you līll be servinī īCause youīre so deservinī
Hey, youīre so deservinī
Youīre so deservinī Yeah, yeah, yeah
Ooo-oh
Love, love, love, love
From now on From now on
Okay, there are two things that l remember about my childhood.
l just donīt remember it being this orange.
First, l remember being with my dad.
He would get these far-off looks in his eye, and he would say,
īīLife doesnīt always turn out the way you plan.īī
l just wish l realized at the time he was talking about my life.
But that never stopped us from taking our adventures together.
He would pack up our sometimes-working car,
and he would tell me amazing stories...
about strange and exotic lands...
as we headed off to exciting destinations like...
Milwaukee.
ltīs amazing how exotic Wisconsin... isnīt.
But my favorite memories were the stories...
that he would tell me about my mom.
He would take me to the church where they got married...
and līd beg him to tell me more about the ceremony...
and about my crazy Uncle lrwin...
who fell asleep in the macaroni and cheese.
And l asked my dad when he knew...
that he truly loved my mom.
And he said to me, īīLucy, your mother...
īīgave me a special gift.
She gave me the world.īī
Actually it was a globe with a light in it.
But for the romantic that he was, it might as well have been the world.
Well, the first time l saw him,
he didnīt exactly give me the world.
lt was a $1.50 train token.
Uh, but l-l looked forward to it every single day.
He started coming to my booth between 8:01 and 8:15...
every morning, Monday through Friday.
And he was just perfect. My Prince Charming.
Well, weīve nev-- Weīve never actually spoken.
But l know someday we will. l know it. l just know it.
And l know that someday l will find a way to introduce myself,
and, and thatīs gonna be perfect.
Just like my prince.
Forty-five dollars for a Christmas tree and they donīt deliver?
You order $10 worth of chow mein from Mr. Wongīs, they bring it to your door.
Oh! Ooh, l shouldīve gotten the blue spruce. Theyīre lighter.
Aah! Ooh.
Lucy!
Nature of claim: Christmas tree through window.
H-How am l gonna put that on my insurance? Theyīre still pissed...
about the fire we had when Joe Jr. barbecued in the stairwell.
- l missed that one. - Oh, great sausage.
- Look, l-līll pay for this. - Thatīs okay, Lucy.
My brother Julieīs in the glass business.
Oh... l almost forgot.
Merry Christmas.
Ah, Lucy. You, you didnīt have to do that.
- Well, l wanted to. - l havenīt even gotten to my shopping yet.
Hey, Pop. Could l give that bottle of Blue Nun you got...
from Cousin Ornella to my probation officer?
Do you see weīve got some company?
- Say hello. - Hello, Luce.
Nice, uh...
- sweater. - Thank you.
ltīs over there.
Lucy, youīre a nice girl. Joe Jr.īs still single.
Yeah, itīs a shocker.
- What do you have? - Oh, the usual.
- Whatīs that? - Mustard. Coke.
- Lucy! Lucy, Lucy, Lucy. - Hi, Jerry.
- līm glad to find you here. - l was hoping youīd find me in Bermuda.
Bermuda? Oh, thatīs good.
l am recommending you for Employee of the Month.
The usual.
- Really? l didnīt know there was an employee of the month. - Oh, yeah.
īīSupervisor Jerry Wallace nominates Lucy Moderatz...
īīfor Employee of the Month.
īīLucy is never tardy, always works holidays...
īīeven if she has worked the previous holiday.
īīJust because she worked Thanksgiving, Lucy is willing to work Christmas tooīī?
Jerry, līm not working Christmas.
- Ah, youīll get a nice plaque with the mayorīs stamp on it. - l didnīt vote.
- You get to ride on a float St. Paddyīs day. - l hate parades.
- Did l mention extra holiday pay? - l hate you.
Lucy.
Look, Violet is sick and Celeste canīt switch...
because sheīs got some big family thing.
And l promised my kids līd be there for them this year.
- lt stinks, Jerry. - l know it isnīt fair, and l canīt make you do it.
But, Lucy, youīre the only one--
Without family.
Merry Merry Christmas
Christmas everywhere
Merry Merry Christmas
Christmas in the air
Christmas in Chicago
New York too
Way down in New Orleans
And right here with you
Merry Merry Christmas
- Santa Claus is cominī to town - Come on, Richie.
Jingle bells are ringinī
- Hi. Merry Christmas. - Mistletoeīs all around
Ye-- Uh--
Nice coat. Merry Christmas to you too.
Youīre beautiful. Will you marry me?
l love you.
- Yo! - Hey!
- Nice coat. - ltīs Christmas.
- Look, l donīt want any trouble. Oh! - Shit!
Letīs go! Letīs go! Letīs go!
Somebody help me, please! Sir? Sir? Sir? Are you okay?
Can, can you get up? God, sir, this is not good.
Oh, god, mister, um, can you--
Are you breathing? Oh, god, you smell good!
Please wake up. Please. Please. Oh, god.
Can you wake up? Can you hear me? Um--
Oh, god! Wake up!
Somebody help me please!
Mister? Mister! Thereīs a train coming and itīs fast.
ltīs an express!
Oh, god!
Hi.
-All right, bring him down here. -Bring him through here. -l need a doctor here.
Dr. Stevens. Dr. Jessica Stevens.
Hi, um, excuse me. About two seconds ago, a guy--
- A man was brought in. l-l, l donīt know it. - All right. Whatīs his name?
- l need to know his name. You donīt know his name? - Heīs right-- Heīs right there.
-Why donīt you-- -Okay. No, no, you canīt go in-- -Ho, ho, you canīt go in there.
- No, no, you, you donīt understand. - Are you family?
- Family only. - No, you donīt understand, īcause l was--
You wait there.
Okay, guys, what do we got here?
- Oh, l was gonna marry him. - Get Dr. Ortiz here.
Dr. Memrack, l.C.U. West.
- Dr. Memrack, l.C.U. West. - Come on, come with me. Over here.
- Let him hear your voice, hon. - Okay.
Hi.
Um--
Everything is gonna be okay. l know it.
- ltīs gonna be fine. - Excuse me. ls that the woman that saved his life?
- Yeah. - Whoa.
lt gets even better than that. Sheīs his fiancee.
Excuse me, maīam. līm sorry, but l need to ask you a few questions.
- O-Okay. - Officer, may l interrupt you? - Oh, sure. līll be right over there.
Thank you. Thank you. līm Dr. Rubin.
- Hi, līm Lucy. - Donīt tell me about passes!
- Where the hell is he? - Dad, donīt embarrass me. - Ooh, heīs so pale. My god!
- What is this? - This is my son. How is he? - How depressing!
- You canīt come bursting into this unit! - Heīll be all right, right?
-Right? -What happened? Whatīs going on? -Heīs in a coma.
- On Christmas day. - Jesus!
- His vital signs are strong. His brain waves are good. - Brain waves.
- l think heīs gonna get through this. - Are you a specialist?
- How did this happen? - Um, he was pushed from the platform at the train station.
- Whoīs she? - Sheīs his fiancee.
- His fiancee? - Yeah. - Peterīs fiancee?
- Peterīs engaged? - Yeah, l thought--
- No, you donīt understand. - Wait. Wait. - Hold it.
- He wouldīve told us, right? - Now, please. Please. - He shouldīve told us.
- Maybe he was busy. - Too busy to tell his own mother heīs getting married?
- No, no, no, donīt yell at him. - līm not yelling at him. lf only Jack were here.
- Grandma? - ls she okay?
Sheīs got a little heart problem. Sheīs had three attacks already.
- They werenīt attacks. They were episodes. - Oh, geez!
-Nothing wrong with her hearing. -Excuse me, Doctor. What is she doing in here?
-Hey, buddy. She saved his life. -You saved his life?
- Yeah, yeah, but, l-- - l thought he was pushed off a train platform.
- She jumped on the tracks. - You jumped on the tracks?
- Yeah. - Doctor, itīs supposed to be family only.
- She is family. - Sheīs the fiancee, you idiot!
- Okay, look, l-līm sorry. You, you, you donīt understand. - līm awfully sorry. We havenīt...
seen him for a long time, so we didnīt know.
l always wanted him to find a nice girl.
līm so glad he found you.
Oh, Peter.
- What-- Why did you say that? līm not his fiancee. - Say what?
- Why did you tell me that you were? - līm not engaged. līve never even spoken to the guy.
What? Well, down-- downstairs you said, you said you were gonna marry him.
Ah, geez, l was talking to myself.
Well, next time you talk to yourself, tell yourself youīre single and end the conversation.
- What am l gonna do? - l donīt know.
She held me so tight. l-l-- You know, l couldnīt-- l couldnīt tell her.
- l know. - Excuse me, nurse.
- ls there a pharmacy in the hospital? - Uh, what, what do you need?
Elsie. She wants, uh, nitroglycerin.
- Oh, for her heart problem? - Problem? Problems!
You know somethinī, l think you saved her life.
ln fact, l think you saved the whole family. Bless you.
Why donīt you come with me. līll take you down there.
So, tell us how you met Peter?
Ma, she doesnīt wanna talk about that now, okay?
Why not? We could all use a nice story.
- How do you know it was nice? - Of course it was nice. Why shouldnīt it be nice?
What about that other girl? Whatīs her name? The one he met in the bar?
Whatīs that got to do with the price of eggs?
- Ashley Bartlett Bacon. - Ox.
All l know is she was pretty high and mighty for someone named after breakfast meat.
Well, he has a nice girl now.
So, did you-- did you steal him from Ashley?
l bet it was love at first sight. Right?
l have a sense about these things.
- Elsie, let her tell it. - She is telling it.
l bet that he picked you up in that fancy car of his.
What was it about him that, you know, that first struck you?
lt was his, uh, smile.
Theyīre caps. Six hundred bucks a tooth.
Shh.
Well, um--
We saw each other, and, um...
he, uh, smiled.
And--
And l knew that... my life would never be the same.
So--
Tomorrow night, 8:00.
What?
l got lce Capades. l know a guy.
Huh.
Hi.
Um-- Bet youīre wondering...
what līm doing here in the middle of the night, huh?
Well, l-l thought l should introduce myself.
My nameīs Lucy. Lucy Eleanor Moderatz.
l think you should know your family thinks weīre engaged.
Never been engaged before. This is all very sudden for me.
Um--
What, what l really came here,
uh, to tell you was that, um...
l didnīt, l didnīt mean for this to happen.
l, l donīt know what to do.
l mean, if, if, you were awake, l-l wouldnīt be in this mess.
Oh, god. Not that līm blaming you. Sorry.
ltīs just that, you know, when l was, when l was a kid,
l always imagined what l would...
be like or where l would be...
or what l would have when l got older.
And, you know, it was the normal stuff.
You know, līd have a house and family and things like that.
Not-- You know, not that līm, līm complaining or anything.
īCause, you know, l have, l have, l have a cat.
l have an apartment, um--
Sole possession of the remote control. Thatīs very important.
ltīs just...
l never met anybody that l could laugh with, you know?
D--
Do you believe in love at first sight?
Nah, l bet you donīt. Youīre probably too sensible for that.
Or have you ever like seen somebody and,
and you knew that if only that person really knew you...
they would, well, of course, dump the perfect model that they were with...
and, and realize that you were the one that they wanted...
to just grow old with.
Have you ever fallen in love with somebody you havenīt even talked to?
Have you ever been so alone you spend the night confusing a man in a coma?
Bryan Lynch. Mr. Bryan Lynch,
please call Amber Lynch at 2617.
Oh, my god.
Bye.
- Lucy! - Hi. - We didnīt know you were here.
- Hi. - Hi. Were you here all night?
Youīre like me. l could always sleep anywhere.
And believe me, she has.
Wait to go, Gram!
- So, howīs Peter? - Oh, well, heīs got more color.
- He has some color. Looks like he has some color. - Yeah.
Well, l, l have to go, so it was great to see you guys again.
- Tell her. Go on, tell her. - Yeah.
We didnīt get to, uh, celebrate Christmas, so, uh,
it would be nice if you could join us.
Oh, um-- Oh, l-l-l would love to, but l, l canīt.
- Jackīs gonna be there. - Thatīs right. You havenīt met Jack yet.
- No, not yet. - Oh, heīll be so happy to meet you.
- So youīll come tonight? - l, l, l really shouldnīt because l have to work.
-l canīt. -Well, look here. Put your phone number and address down there.
- Midgeīll call you and talk you into it. - Okay.
And hereīs another card for when you change your mind.
Weīre in the estate furniture business.
We buy furniture from dead people.
Okay. All right, well l have, l have it.
- So, bye. Bye. - Bye, dear. See you later.
Bye.
- Maīam? Excuse me, maīam. - What? What is this?
līm sorry, Mrs. Callaghan. These are your husbandīs things.
- Heīs not my husband! - līm sorry. Your fiancee.
Uh, youīre Peterīs fiancee?
- Okay. - Dalton Clark.
Colleague of Peterīs at Lubel, Parker, Jacobs and Fink.
- l have to go now. - Oh, heīs a great guy.
Heīs had a tough year. What, with the accident last month and all.
- Accident? - Well, of course it was an accident?
l mean, it wasnīt my-- Did he tell you it was my fault?
Weīre playing basketball, all right? l carry a pencil!
- līm a lawyer! l do that! - Okay.
- Jesus, whatīs he telling-- - ltīs gonna be okay.
- So whatīs the big deal? - Whatīs the big deal?
Jerry, they think līm their future daughter-in-law.
And the grandmother, then sheīs got this heart thing. And if l tell her the truth,
sheīs gonna have a heart attack, and sheīs gonna die, and itīs gonna be on my head.
Well, then, go along with it.
And when Peter comes out of the coma,
the familyīll be so happy they wonīt care that you lied to them.
Theyīll probably even thank you for it.
Just mustard!
- Okay. What if he doesnīt come out of his coma? - Well, then whoīs to know?
- l donīt know. Oh, no. - Ah. Look, look, Lucy.
When my mother found out l was getting married to my wife, her intestines exploded.
- Now, you tell them now-- - Oh, my god.
- Huh, you might as well shoot Grandma. - Oh!
Come on, Mel.
Mel.
What am l doing?
- Lucy! - Hi, Saul, hi.
- You made it, huh? - Yeah.
- How you feel? - Okay. Okay.
Come on, keep me company for a while. l donīt like to smoke in the house.
- Okay. līm trying to quit. - Listen-- You want one?
Thatīs good. Here, sit down.
-They donīt bother you, do they? -Uh, no, no, līm fine.
Did you know that l was Peterīs godfather?
Really? l-l thought you had to be Catholic for that.
- Ox fudged it over. - Oh.
He donated 50 folding chairs to Father Sheaīs bingo night.
You know, being a godfather is very important to Catholics.
lt means youīre practically part of the family.
Well, youīre lucky. ltīs really important...
to have family around this time of year.
Are you, uh-- l mean, are your parents with you?
No, no. My, my mom died when l was really young...
and, uh, a couple of years ago, my dad got sick...
and, uh, we moved from lndiana to Chicago so he could go to a research hospital.
Research. A medical term for very expensive, huh?
Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
l-l-l had to quit school and l started working for the C.T.A.
And, um, about a year ago,
he decided he had had enough research, and he passed away.
-My wife of 51 years passed away two years ago, February the 9. -līm sorry.
- Yeah, it was a rough time for me. - Yeah.
But Ox got me through.
- Youīre good friends? - The best!
Lucy, the Callaghans,
well, they took me in as part of their family.
līd never let anyone hurt them.
Neither would l.
l believe you wouldnīt.
Lucy? You came?
Hi, Saul. Oh, this is great!
Hey, come on in, you two. ltīs freezinī out here. Elsie made her eggnog.
- Word to the wise: Drink soda. - Okay.
Ox, Mom, look whoīs here. Lucy came!
- Oh, my! - Hi. Hi, Mary. - ltīs gonna be like Christmas.
- Come on in. ltīs cold out there. - These are for you. - Oh, sweetheart, thank you.
- Weīve got the most wonderful dinner. - lt smells so good. Hi.
This is so beautiful.
- Thatīs Peter on the right. - Heīs so sweet.
- Oh, yeah, the squirrels. - Eggnog everyone.
Ma, where are you? līm serving your eggnog.
līm getting my camera.
- Come on, everybody. Get close to the tree. - Oh, Christmas pictures.
- Lucy, come on. - Come on, Lucy. - Come on, letīs go. Letīs go.
l-l donīt want-- l-l--
Watch the birdie.
- Oh, Ma, take it again. l blinked. - Well, youīre lucky. līm blind.
- Oh, yeah. l love it. - Oh. Excuse me.
- l donīt drink anymore. - Oh.
l donīt drink any less either.
- Perhaps l should. - You got me. You got me.
- Oh, look at this. - Oh, more presents. Okay, līll take these two.
- What is this? - Whoopsie, whoopsie. - Open it.
- What is that? - Turn īem over.
- Pierced? Really? - Mm-hmm.
- Oh, my god! Thank you. Thank you. - Weīll go to Walmart on Monday.
Donīt thank me. lf it was up to me, l wouldīve gotten you a Barbie.
- Oh, did you like that? - More presents. Oh, boy. - lsnīt that wonderful?
- We hit the jackpot. - Ma, this is for you. - Thanks, dear.
- A present. - Oh. īīTo Ox from Uncle Al.īī
- Who the hell is Uncle Al? - Uncle Al. You know, Uncle Al from Buffalo.
- You remember Al. - Remember, Ma? You remember Al. - To Lucy from Santa.
Remember Al? He was here the night--
Once again as in olden days
- Happy golden days of yore - Seven bow ties, l bet.
- Aw, you shouldnīt have. - She made these.
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Will be near to us once more
- Oh, the gold watch! l love it! - Someday soon we all be together
- Oh, sweetheart, itīs so expensive. - Hey, from Louie. l got another bow tie.
- lf the fates allow - Oh, Gram, these are so great. Thank you.
- Until then weīll have to muddle through - Hey.
- Somehow - So pretty.
- So have yourself - You remember Uncle Al, donīt you?
- Yeah, yeah. - A merry little Christmas now
- l never really got him anything. - He had a little moustache.
- He was Daddyīs friend, right? - Yeah. Yeah!
- l know an Uncle Ed. - No, Uncle Al.
This is Callaghan. Leave a message...
and līll get back to you. Ciao.
Hi, itīs Ashley. Ah, Lisbon is absolutely gorgeous.
But līm cutting my trip short because l have been doing a lot of thinking, and--
What the hey? l will marry you.
- Jack! Hey, buddy! Whoa! - Hey.
Shh. Jack. Donīt wake Lucy.
Who-- Whoīs Lucy?
Lucyīs Peterīs fiancee.
No, thatīs not Peterīs fiancee.
- You havenīt met her? - No.
Well, sheīs great. Youīre gonna love her.
You know what, kid, maybe līll stay the night.
- Donīt eat my cereal in the morning. - Oh, so itīs Maryīs special cereal?
The last time you took the toy surprise, remember?
- Good morning. - Oh, god.
Oh. Oh, you scared me.
- Sorry. - Um, good morning, Jack.
Um, l guess l donīt remember meeting you.
Well, itīs probably because weīve never met.
That might have something to do with it.
Ooh. Cab. l have to go.
līm really-- līm really late īcause l have to go.
But, um, l-- lt was nice to meet you, Jack. So, good-bye.
- Lucy. - Okay, look, l-l know that l--
- Hey. - Hmm?
Welcome to the family.
Oh, thank you.
Bye.
We pray that the Lordīs healing presence...
will be felt by those who are sick, and by their families.
Especially Jo-Jo Goreki, Peter Callaghan,
Craig Little and Peggy Dunne.
We pray to the Lord. Lord--
Lord, hear our prayer.
O God, You call us to live as one family.
- So, whoīs this Lucy? - Save us from the mere, pragmatic views of today.
- Sheīs your brotherīs fiancee. - That we may be the proof of Your gentleness.
Youīd think if Peter were getting married,
- We ask this through Christ our Lord. - he would have announced it in the Tribune.
- We read the Sun Times. Amen. - Amen.
- So why did she sneak out this morning? - She has a job.
l like Mass better in Latin.
ltīs nicer when you donīt know what theyīre saying.
- Did you get the Bourbeau estate? - Got it.
- What about Downeyīs? - Got it.
- Himmelsteinīs? - Yeah.
- Did you get Van Allan? - Himmelsteinīs took too long.
- Aah, for Christīs sake, Jack. - Stop swearing!
- Look, youīre runninī the business now. - Thereīs something līd like to talk to you about.
- Talk about that later, okay? - Talk about it now. He canīt kill you in church.
- Will you please pipe down? - Hey, be nice, pally. Weīre in church. - Hey.
- Youīre disrupting the Mass! - Who made you the Pope?
- Ox! - How did Joe Kelly get to be a lector?
- He takes marijuana. - Amen.
- Hi, Luce. - Hi, Lucy.
Hi, Lucy.
Come on, you stupid wing nut!
Oh, your motherīs--
Excuse me? Do you live here?
Live here? l own this place.
Oh, great. Um--
Well, then you would know the woman that lives in 201.
Know her? līm dating her.
Hmm.
Very clean.
Kitty?
Rich kitty?
Come here, mealtime.
Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty. Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Kitty?
Kitty? Food.
Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Come here.
Come on, honey.
Where are you--
Oh, līm so sorry.
- Nice shot. - Oh, um--
līll get you some ice. līm sorry. l wasnīt expecting anybody.
- Hey, howīd you get in here? - Um-- Oh.
Uh... key?
Key? Oh, you stay here a lot, huh?
Oh, you know, feed the cat.
Peter doesnīt have a cat.
Ohh.
Hello. Hello, honey. Fluffy!
Hello, Fluffy.
You must be so hungry.
Mm.
Are you gonna get that?
Uh, no, līm, līm gonna let the machine get it.
Hello?
ltīs for you.
Hello.
Okay. Bye-bye.
Um, that was the hospital. They say itīs customary...
for friends and family to come down and give blood.
Letīs go together.
You know what? l think maybe we should take your truck.
Oh, no. We oughta take Peterīs car.
- Okay. - You know where itīs parked, donīt you?
Oh, yeah, l, uh-- Yeah.
- Hmm. - Hmm.
Hey, weīll have to get your picture for the mantle.
- Of, of me? - No, of you and Peter.
- līm, līm not that photogenic. - l doubt that.
All right. Now, l want you to sit here and sip this, or youīll get woozy.
- When did you start seeing Peter? - September 17th.
- Three months. Thatīs quick. - You have no idea.
- Thatīs fast. Thatīs a fast engagement. - Miss! - līm fine.
- Wait, līm not finished with you! - Oh, l got it. l got it. l got it.
Ooh.
What the hell heīs got a TV for? Heīs in a coma, for Christīs sake!
Ox, shh. He might hear you, you know.
Then get him a radio.
- Maybe heīd like us to sing to him. - Maybe Lucy knows his favorite song.
- īīPuff, the Magic Dragon.īī - īīDragon.īī
- Oh. - īīDragon.īī - Huh?
- Which one of the Three Stooges was Peterīs favorite? - Curley.
Curley! Hah!
- Heīs everybodyīs favorite. - No, l like Shemp.
- Favorite ice cream. - Baskin-Robbins.
- Favorite baseball team. - Chicago.
- Cubs or White Sox? - What the heck is going on?
Why are you asking her all these questions?
Donīt ask me, ask her boyfriend.
That isnīt very funny, you know.
- No, no, not this boyfriend. - Heīs--
Joe Fusco.
Joe-- Joe Jr.
Mm-hmm, thatīs right. Mr. Joe Fusco, Jr.
He said that you were intimate.
Yeah, well, he also said he invented aluminum foil. Heīs delusional.
He was very lucid when l talked to him.
Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
- Ma, you okay? - You see what you did?
- What did l do? - Now, if she wanted to prove it, sheīd prove it.
Peter has one testicle.
- No way. - Way.
About a month ago there was an accident...
and he was playing basketball and his friend had a pencil in his back pocket.
Eww!
Maybe, um--
No.
- Oh, no! - Well, somebodyīs gotta look.
Donīt look at me.
- No. - Yeah, maybe, uh--
ltīs not-- ltīs not my, uh, uh--
Okay, līm his mother.
Oh, Mom! Eww!
Well, look at the bright side.
Heīs got more room in his Jockey shorts.
Ma!
- Who is it? - What gives?
- You stood me up. - For what?
- Our date. - What date?
To the lce Capades. l had to eat your ticket.
l never said l would go on a date with you.
- Yes you did. Yes you did! - No, l didnīt. No, l didnīt!
- Did too! Did! Did! - Didnīt! Didnīt! Didnīt!
- Who is it? - Lucy, itīs Saul.
- Oh, my god. - What, are ya two-timinī Joe, Jr.?
līm not two-timing. l never one-timed.
- Hey, līll fight the guy. - Hey, get in the closet.
- Not a word. - Nice panties.
Hey.
l like boxer shorts, but, uh, līll try these, eh--
- Sorry. - Have you got company?
- No. TV. ltīs on... next door. - Oh.
Um... you, uh, want some coffee or tea or something?
No, no. Not a-- Not a thing.
- Lucy, thereīs something you should know. - What?
Well, the night you visited Peter, l was outside the door.
l know the truth.
Sorry, Saul. You now, you do-- You donīt have to worry, īcause līm gonna tell them everything.
Donīt tell them a thing.
Remember the day you said youīd-- youīd never do anything to hurt the family?
- Yeah? - Well, since they met you, they figure they have Peter back.
Now, if you tell them the truth, eh, itīll take him away again.
They need you, Lucy. Just like you need them.
Now, look, l know youīre a good girl.
And l know youīll do the right thing.
- Thank you. - Yeah. Yes, you will.
Oh-Oh, oh, by the way, how did you know about the--
Peter with the one, uh--
Ahh--
You know something? l donīt wanna know.
- Bye. - Ooh!
- Oh, god! Whatīre you-- What-- - Aah!
- What are you doing? - l slipped.
Youīre trying on my shoes?
No! When l fell, my foot went like that, right into the shoe.
- Who is it? - ltīs me, Jack Callaghan.
- My god, doesnīt anybody use a phone anymore? - l do.
līm not talking about 900 numbers.
Who told?
Hi. So, more questions?
No, l have an engagement present for you.
Uh, you really shouldnīt have.
l didnīt. ltīs from my parents.
Oh.
ltīs furniture. You want me to bring it up?
Hey, was that Saul l saw leaving?
Whatīs that?
- Cat. - Big cat.
Um, l th-- l think y-- l think you should, um,
bring it to, uh, t-- bring it to Peterīs apartment.
- You donīt know what it is. - Well, you know,
anything would look nicer in Peterīs apartment.
You know what? līll come with you.
Ooh!
You know what? l think you parked too clo--
You know, l think you parked too close to the other car.
Had to. We gotta unload the furniture.
Ready for your surprise?
Oh, that is great.
That is so great.
- You like that? - Yeah.
Too bad. Ox bought you the love seat.
- Oh, līm sorry. - Donīt be. l made this.
- This? No, you didnīt. - Shocking, isnīt it?
- Can l sit in it? - Rock out.
My god, this is perfect. You should go into business or something.
Well, then it gets tricky.
Oh, yeah, working with your dad and everything, right?
The business used to be called Callaghan and Sons,
and then when Peter went off to law school it became Callaghan and Son.
lf l were to leave, itīd just be Callaghan.
- Letīs take a second here and unlock the doors off-- - No-No, l got it, l got it.
- Oh. - See? Here we go.
Oh, this technique.
ltīs always very, very, very modern technique this way.
E-Excuse me, uh, sir, what apartment?
Uh, 57G.
Well, sir, līm sorry, but guests have to be announced, ya know?
Well, līm with her. līm helping her.
- So? - You donīt know her?
No.
Bu-But līm new here.
Oh, well, sheīs Peter Callaghanīs fiancee in 57G.
Ohh! Oh, yeah.
They told me about her, sir. Sheīs scary.
Tell me about it.
- Ooh! - Be careful.
Uh, maybe we should, uh, angle it a little bit.
Um... l think itīs wedged.
Why donīt you step back for a little bit? līm gonna try an old trick.
Whatīs-Whatīs the trick?
- Push it really hard. - īKay.
- Okay, okay, push. - l did.
Do you want me to help you now?
- All right, a little help would be good. - īKay.
īKay. One, two, three-yah!
Ow! Ooh!
Ooh.
l think the sofa should go right there.
Oh, no! No, no, no, look at this!
ldiot just blocked me in.
But l told you not to park that close.
Aaah!
Hey, check the meter. See what time it is.
Um, itīs six oīclock.
They can pretty much stay here all night if they wanted to.
All night, huh?
Um, good night.
You just gonna leave me here with the truck?
Basically, yeah.
Well, maybe l oughta walk you back.
What for?
For protection.
Oh, no, līm fine. līm okay.
For me. l donīt want to be here by myself.
This is Chicago.
- You look cold. - Hmm?
- You look cold. - Wha--
Probably because l am cold.
- How about you? - This jacketīs reversible.
- līm wearing the warm side now. - Oh, l see!
You need a better coat.
What? This was my dadīs.
Ahh, then heīs probably freezing.
He passed away.
- Sorry. - ltīs not your fault.
Passed away last year.
l donīt even remember my mom, so--
What was he like?
He was a lot like me. Dark hair, flat chest.
What do you remember most about him?
Oh-ho, that. Okay.
Um, well--
He liked maps.
Yeah, l live by maps. My truckīs filled with them.
He used to hear of a place on the TV,
we would pull out the atlas, weīd find where it was.
Weīd route out this, like, little way to get there.
lf there were one place in the world where youīd go, where--
- Florence. - ltaly, ooh.
l havenīt delivered any furniture to Florence yet, but līm told itīs nice.
- Yeah. - l take it youīve never been there.
Well, you know, the El doesnīt exactly make it all the way to Florence, so--
Oh, but l do have...
- my passport. - You have your passport!
- Yes, l do! - With you?
Yes. Well, just in case l need to quickly leave the country,
- you need to have-- - Thatīs perfect. Thatīs great. Oh, youīre right.
Youīre not very photogenic at all.
Just joking. There arenīt any stamps in that.
Yeah, well, l havenīt gone anywhere yet.
But, you now, līm planning a trip to Florence really soon,
so, you know, līll go.
Thatīll make your dad very proud.
Yeah.
You know, in a very small way,
you kind of remind me of him a little bit.
l see. So, he was a classy guy, always a gentleman.
- A working man who-- - Who just stepped in doggy poopy.
Ohh!
Thatīs, now thatīs classy. Thatīs classy!
All right, tell me more. Whereīd you grow up.
God, youīve just become Mr. Chatty this evening.
Fact of the matter is, līm about to start shivering,
and making conversation keeps my face from freezing.
Thank you. l had, um, l had a good time.
- Oh. - Mm.
S-S-Slippery here. Come on.
Got this far. līll take you the rest of the way.
Well, you gotta watch out. A little icy.
So, um, you gonna go see Peter tomorrow?
Oh. Whoa-oa-oa! Whoa!
Wow!
- All right-- - Do not take me with you!
- No, itīs all right. ltīs not too bad, yeah. - You got it?
- You got it? Okay. - Yeah.
Wow. Get this-- This is t-- This is big.
This-- There we go.
- Okay! - All right. Are ya all right?
This is-- Oh-- Mm.
Mm.
- All right? - Yeah.
- l think weīre all right now. - Okay?
- Yeah. ltīs just, uh-- - Okay.
- Over this way? Okay. - This way.
- Ow! Ohh! - What was that?
Was that my pants or my muscles?
Oh! Give me your hand. Give me your hand.
- Whoa-ho! - Okay. Come on!
- Hmm. - Oh, man!
You have an extra pair of pants in your apartment?
lf you fit into my pants, l will kill myself.
- You donīt have to follow me. - No, you block the wind.
līll wait ītil ya get inside.
Well, good night.
Night.
So līll see you when l see you?
Yeah.
All right, Lucy, itīs either me or him.
Him.
You donīt have to answer right away.
līm having an affair. l like Jack.
- Whoīs Jack? - Peterīs brother.
- So? - So he thinks līm engaged.
- To who? - To Peter.
Lucy, l really donīt have time for this.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You have to tell me what to do.
- Tell the truth. - lf l tell Jack that l lied to his family,
he will never speak to me again.
And-And-And Ox and Midge and Mary and-and-and Saul--
Saul? Whoīs Saul?
Heīs a next-door neighbor.
But you know what? Actually, he knows.
Lucy, youīre born into a family.
You do not join them like you do the marines.
You have to tell me what to do.
Pull the plug.
- You are sick. - līm sick?
Youīre cheating on a vegetable.
Down and dirty.
Are you gonna fold? Youīre not gonna fold.
Ooh, he is staying in with a pair.
Very impressive. Very bold, confident.
Full house. You are unlucky at cards.
But lucky in love.
īMember in like, uh, fifth or sixth grade,
l was starting to get really good at poker, and, uh,
goinī home with lots of lunch money?
l got to know the principalīs office really well.
He always used to say to me,
īīHow come you canīt be more like your brother Peter?īī
Well, you know what? l was all right with that.
l had no problems with that because l was proud of you.
And l was never envious of anything that you had.
Until now.
līll cut the deck. High card gets Lucy.
All right, weīll go best out of three.
So, Lucy, have you and Peter decided where youīre gonna go on your honeymoon?
l went to Cuba.
Ricky Ricardo was Cuban.
- Didnīt Peter look great today? - Oh, that kid.
- You know, he should have been an actor. - Heīs tall.
All the great ones were tall.
Lucy, you think you can find me a nice girl for Jack?
- Oh, Mom, come on. - Well, l-l-l-l--
l really donīt know Jackīs type, so līm not one to, um--
l like blondes. Chubby ones.
- Alan Ladd wasnīt tall. - Marshal Dillon was six-foot-five.
Well, we all know who Lucyīs type is.
These mashed potatoes are so creamy.
You like brunettes.
l could never make a good pot roast.
You need good beef.
Argentina has great beef. Beef and Nazis.
John Wayne was tall.
Dustin Hoffman was five-six.
Would you want to see Dustin Hoffman save the Alamo?
- These mashed potatoes are so creamy. - Spain has good beef.
- Mary mashed them. - Cesar Romero was tall.
Cesar Romero was not Spanish.
l didnīt say Cesar Romero was Spanish.
- Well, what did you say? - l said Cesar Romero was tall.
- We all know heīs tall. - Well, thatīs what l said.
Cesar Romero is tall. Thatīs all l said.
So if you need any help with history, donīt call me.
Now, remember, honey, if youīre free for New Yearīs, we want to see you.
Thank you very much. l had a great time.
- Us too. - Thank you. Bye. - Thanks for coming.
- Bye. - Bye-bye, Lucy. - Bye-bye. Good night.
Hey, look, you guys. Youīre under the mistletoe.
- Kiss her, then. - Yeah.
- ltīs mistletoe. - ltīs tradition. - ltīs Christmas.
Come on, idiot. Kiss her.
- There ya go. - Oh, yeah. - Bye.
- Good night. Bye. - Good night. - Good night.
- Come on, Mary. Weīre both on dish detail tonight.
Regular fare.
- One token, please. - Oh, my god! Mary! What are you doing here?
Hi. Do you guys wanna-- you wanna come through?
- We can? - Yeah, absolutely.
Transfer, please.
- Hi. - Hey, whoīs this?
- līm Mary. This is Beth. - Hi.
Um, Maryīs-- Maryīs my, um--
Lucyīs going to marry my brother Peter.
What? Lucy, youīre gettinī married?
Well, it hasnīt really been announced.
So itīs a little awkward for me to say anything, and, um--
- The train. Your-- Okay. - The train. Okay. Uh, līll see you later.
Thank you for coming. ltīs nice to meet you, Beth.
- Girl, are you pregnant? - Yes, līm pregnant, Celeste.
Lucy, youīre not tellinī me whatīs goinī on! Youīre not givinī me details.
- Whatīs goinī on? - Okay, Celeste.
Celeste, you have to have sex in order to be pregnant.
But l thought you were engaged.
Well, weīre-- Weīre waiting.
Waiting?
Peter? Hi, itīs Ashley.
ls, is this machine working?
Look, līm back in Chicago and, uh, līm kind of shocked that you havenīt called me back.
Look, l really would, uh, like to hear from you, and līd like to see my cat.
Call me.
New Yearīs Eve hasnīt been the same...
since Guy Lombardo died.
l love a clarinet.
You know, nobody plays a clarinet anymore.
Guy Lombardo didnīt play the clarinet.
l didnīt say Guy Lombardo played the clarinet.
- You know, your Benny Goodman, - Hey, Pop.
- he could play the licorice stick. - We got the Van Allan estate.
- Hey, way to go. Attaboy! - Oh. Thatīs great. - Congratulations.
- Thatīs great. Attaboy. - Way to go. - Hey, everybody.
Lucyīs pregnant.
How did you find out? What do you mean sheīs pregnant?
- How do you know? - Where have you been? - Thatīs what Beth said.
- We heard it at the token booth today. - Jack, do you know anything about this?
Go up to your room.
- Who is it? - Joe Jr.
līm not here.
l know that trick.
Hey, my old manīs got a set of keys.
That is illegal, and you know it, Joey.
- Ta-da! - l told īem to give me...
the same ones they use in the winnerīs circle at Arlington.
Theyīre beautiful.
But l canīt accept them.
l could move in here. l bet you Pop would knock 50 bucks off the rent.
l have six months left to live.
Aw, youīre just tryinī to make me feel better.
- ltīs that other guy, isnīt it? - What do you mean?
l seen the way you look at him.
What? How do l-- How do l look at him?
Like you just seen your first Trans Am.
Aw, here, take īem. You can lay īem on my coffin.
Thank you.
Are you wearinī the black bra? Ow!
l love black underwears.
- Jack. - What are you doing here?
- Youīre going to a party. - Yeah, my friend Celeste is having a party tonight.
Great. Hey, līll drive you.
Oh, you know what? ltīs really not that far. ltīs-- ltīs fine.
No, no, no. No. Come on, come on.
Okay, but itīs, itīs really not that far.
l move a lot of things with this truck.
- So, is, um, everything okay? - Why? Why wouldnīt it be okay?
- Youīre just acting really weird. - No, no, līm not being weird.
- Yes, you are. - No, līm not being weird.
- So, what about Peter? - What about Peter?
Peter is going to have a lot to deal with when he wakes up.
- Lucy! Hi. How are you? - Hi!
Oh, come on. Come in. Hey, everybody. Lucy and her fiance are here.
- Lucy! Hey, howīs it goinī? - Jerry, you know Peter, right?
Thank you. Hi. Take his coat, Cindy.
- Peter? - l gotta talk to you.
Geez, he looks good.
Thatīs not Peter. Thatīs Jack.
- Uh, whoīs Jack again? - Peterīs brother.
- Peterīs the guy thatīs in a coma. - Yeah.
-So then why did you bring Jack? -l didnīt bring Jack. He followed me here.
- So Jackīs the fiance? - No, Peter.
- Peter doesnīt even know you exist. - l know.
- So Jack is Peter? - Yeah.
- Lucy-- - Yeah?
They have doctors for this kind of thing.
Excuse me. Uh! Thatīs spiked.
- Thank God. - You shouldnīt have any.
- Why not? - Because itīs not good for the baby.
- Wait a minute, will ya? - ltīs freezinī! Watch out.
Uh, this whole evening did not work out well at all, and, uh--
Oh, and līm supposed to share some responsibility in that?
No. Now-- Would you slow down a little bit?
Look. lt was just a misunderstanding,
- and on top of the Joe Jr. thing-- - Excuse me?
- ltīs nothing. - No, no, no. Thereīs no īīnothingīī now.
What Joe Jr. thing?
- The leaning thing. - īīThe leaning thing.īī
- Yeah. - Okay.
Um-- What do you-- What do you mean by īīthe leaning thingīī?
- Because he gave me flowers? - And then you leaned.
- And then l leaned. - Yeah.
Okay. How did l lean when l leaned?
- How were you leaning? - Yeah. - lt was a lot different than hugging.
Huggingīs very different.
Hugging, that involves arms and hands,
and leaning is whole bodies moving in, like this.
Leaning involves wanting...
and accepting.
Leaning--
Hey, Luce.
ls this guy bothering you?
No, no.
Are you sure? īCause it looks like heīs leaning.
Thank you. See?
līll be right over here if you need me.
Okay. Thank you very much.
l know karate.
Okay. Now-- All right. What about the other thing?
The other thing? The other misunderstanding?
Why did you think l was pregnant?
Well, Mary said that she had heard something like that.
- And you believed her? - l didnīt have any reason not to believe her.
So the only reason your brother would want to marry someone like me...
- is if l was pregnant, right? - No, no.
Good night.
Fact is, youīre not really Peterīs type.
Yeah, Jack? All right, whose type am l?
- Thank you. - Look, itīs a great idea, you and Peter.
ltīs just not obvious to the whole world, thatīs all.
You know what, Jack? līve had a really lousy Christmas.
Youīve just managed to kill my New Yearīs.
-lf you come back on Easter, you can burn down my apartment. -Hey, come on, Lucy.
-What do you want from me, Jack? -l want you not to be unhappy.
And what are you, the happiness guru, Jack? Are you happy?
Because l donīt remember you having had a conversation with your father.
l mean, you do want to leave the business, donīt you,
or is this just like another miscommunication that we are having here?
What do you know about my family?
Spending a week with īem does not make you an expert.
Spending a lifetime with them hasnīt made you one either.
Yeah, well, l know that keeping your family happy gets complicated.
Would your father be happy knowing youīre sitting in a token booth,
planning vacations that you arenīt taking?
No, he wouldnīt. Youīre right.
But you have no idea what itīs like to be alone.
Hey, you have Peter.
l donīt have anybody.
Happy New Year! Happy New Year!
Good night.
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year.
For auld lang syne, my dear
For auld lang syne
Weīll take a cup of kindness yet
ln days of auld lang syne
For auld lang syne, my dear
Ox, they called me and told me to get down here. What happened?
- Heīs awake. - Oh, that-- Oh.
Will the Byers family please meet in the solarium?
- Will the Byers-- - Boy, will he be glad to see you.
Yeah.
Peter?
Peter. Your familyīs here, Peter.
Wh-Who are you?
My god.
Heīs got amnesia.
Lacunar amnesia is a condition in which memory loss...
is localized and patchy,
limited to isolated events.
- Selective amnesia? - Okay. Exactly.
Um, līm sorry. You-- l-l need to tell you something that is really important.
- l-l was never-- - Pregnant?
- Huh? - We know. Jack called us.
- Jack. - Hey. So heīs come out of it, huh?
- Oh, līm so glad youīre here. - Excuse me. Doctor? Heīs up again.
All right, letīs go.
Hey, Jack, l am so glad youīre here.
- Saul! - Now, listen. Let me handle it.
līm too old a friend and too old a person for them to kill.
- līll take care of it, all right? - Okay.
- And līll do it right now. - Okay. - Come on. Letīs go.
Right behind you.
- How you feelinī, champ? - l donīt know.
- Hi. - Hey, you remember her?
- Should l? - Look closely.
She looks a little familiar. Why?
- l think itīs coming back. - l think so.
Whatīs coming back? Tell me. Tell me. What?
- You have amnesia. - l do?
Peter, youīre engaged.
- To who? - To Lucy.
Lucy? Whoīs Lucy?
- You donīt remember, do you? - Excuse me.
- Got some Jell-O for you today. - Do l like Jell-O?
- Yum! - l think heīs had enough excitement for one evening.
- Letīs all go home. - Hang in there, champ.
- Good night, honey. - Good night, Mom.
- Oh, itīs so good to see you! - Mom!
- He looks so good, you know? - Heīs going to be fine.
l think he looks wonderful.
- All right, weīll be back. - Jack, you too. Come on. Letīs go home.
- Saul, where have you been? - What, līm not allowed to go to the bathroom?
- Saul! - līm handling it. l will tell them.
When? When? On my golden anniversary?
- Lucy, līll tell them! - Youīd better tell them! - l said līd tell them!
A, B, C, D, E, F, G
Jack, youīve been really great this week.
Yeah, like, uh, when l accused you of lying to everybody.
Or when l accused you of having a relationship with Joe Jr.
Or when l thought you were pregnant and l announced it to all your friends.
Youīve had a really busy week this week, havenīt you?
Look, Jack, l, um--
Starting tomorrow, uh, things...
are probably gonna be kind of different.
Yeah.
l just wanted you to know that youīve become, uh,
a really good friend.
Okay.
Good friend. Lucy!
Yeah?
l didnīt mean, uh, what l said about you and Peter.
l think you two are gonna make a really terrific couple,
and, uh, līm really glad that you wonīt be alone anymore.
- Good-bye. - Bye.
Jack, is that you?
Hey, Pop.
- Brought you some doughnuts. - Youīre a savior.
Your motherīs got me eatinī these fat-free bran muffins.
They taste like plywood.
- Catchinī up? - Yeah, itīs been almost a week since l read the obituaries.
You know, we missed a lot of good stuff the day after Christmas.
Been a hell of a week, hasnīt it?
Life is a pain in the ass. līll tell ya. You know?
You work hard, try to provide for the family, and then, for one minute,
everythingīs good.
Everyoneīs well. Everyoneīs happy.
ln-- ln that one minute, you have peace.
Pop, this isnīt that minute.
- What do you mean? - Um--
You remember that rocking chair l made for Grandma?
Are you kidding me? ltīs so fancy, she wonīt even sit in it.
This fancy chair, two months ago l sold three just like it.
līve sold two dining tables. l got orders for six more.
Thatīs a good side business.
This is not a side business. This is... good business.
Wait a second. You donīt want my business?
No, l donīt.
- How long have you felt this way? - A long time.
Well, why didnīt you say something sooner?
l couldīve sold the whole damn thing to Uncle Eddy for twice its value.
l couldīve taken your mother on the cruise with Kathie Lee Gifford.
Youīre not mad at me?
Are you nuts?
You are nuts! You wanna make rocking chairs.
Oh, hey, Mrs. Fletcher finally went, huh?
Her dining room alone has got to be worth 40 grand.
Yeah. Well, those McMurphy boys, they were movinī in before the deed was done.
- Thatīs their problem. Theyīre too pushy. - Very pushy, yeah.
- Weīll call them next week. - Youīll call īem next week.
Thatīs right. līll call them next week.
- Okay. - Do l get a doughnut? - Uh, līm sorry.
22, 10, 40. Eighth-grade locker combination.
- Birth date: 3-11-59. - You have to remember Lucy.
Social Security number: 144-60-6894.
You love her. You just... donīt remember her.
3.73 grade point average, Northwestern University.
- Can l talk to Peter alone? - Everything okay, Saul?
-Senior class president, 1981. -l just wanna talk to my godson.
- Let me take that for you. - Thanks, Mom. - Weīll be back.
- Okay, weīll see you later, honey. - You sure, Saul?
- Yeah, yeah, sure. - See ya, son. - See ya, Dad.
Peter, līve known you since you were born.
līve been to every major event in your life from Cub Scouts to--
well, to the day you discovered hair on your schmeckel.
You got a good education.
Youīre very popular with all those friends of yours. You make a nice living.
And everybody knows youīre a good-lookinī kid.
But, Peter, youīre a putz.
- Excuse me? - Now, look, līm your godfather.
l mean, l love ya. l couldnīt love ya any more if you were my own son.
But the fact of the matter is youīre-- Well, youīre a putz.
ls there a point to this?
Lucy.
Peter, thereīs something... you have to know about her.
You see, she--
Well-- Uh--
Sheīs--
You know--
Sheīs not only your fiancee, sheīs your guardian angel.
Yeah! Peter, she saved your life!
Now, sheīs cominī to see you today, and l want you to do yourself a favor.
l want you to look deeply into her eyes and listen with the heart of a man...
who has just been given a second chance at life.
And after two minutes, if youīre not madly in love with her,
why, tell her you wanna break up, and you can go back to being a putz.
But if in the two minutes you see what the rest of us only took seconds to see,
you will propose to her for the second time...
and marry her before she has a chance to escape.
Uh, before she comes, take a little time and think about...
what an old putz just told ya.
All right?
You know, if l was 40 years younger, līd marry her myself.
That is, if sheīd convert. Hey, thatīs a joke.
Oh, l know that.
- Lucy! - Hi.
- Um.
l came to bring you back your things.
Would you like a sandwich?
No, no. līm okay. Thanks. Can l get you anything?
l wish l had my own clothes.
Well, l like your, um, blue pinstripe.
- Double-breasted? - Yeah.
- Yeah, thatīs my favorite too. - Really?
Yeah.
Please sit down.
l, l saw a picture of you, uh, when you saved the three squirrels.
Oh. They never call. They never write.
That was a long time ago.
Yeah, l guess we, we donīt get to do many heroic things as an adult, huh?
Oh, thatīs for sure. You do, though!
Oh, no. Jumping in front of that train was unusual.
l donīt think līve done anything truly heroic in my whole life.
- l chased a purse-snatcher once. - Well, thatīs something.
l pretended to pull a hamstring.
Well, most guys probably wouldnīt have chased after him in the first place.
l mean, l work at the El. Believe me, l know.
You give up your seat every day in the train.
Well-- But thatīs not heroic.
lt is to the person who sits in it.
And you always gave me something to look forward to every day, so--
You know, you do remind me of someone.
ltīs probably you.
Thank you.
Uh, uh, maīam! Excuse me. Excuse me, maīam, uh--
What apartment?
- Youīre new. - Yes, maīam. What apartment?
līm going to Peter Callaghanīs apartment.
Uh, and your name, please?
Ashley Bartlett Bacon. l am Peterīs fiancee.
Youīre not his fiancee.
- Huh? - Huh?
Hey, lookinī good!
Yeah, well, theyīre movinī me to the second floor.
Great. Mind if l drove?
Uh, no problem. Uh, see you by the elevators.
- All right. - Okay.
- There we go. - Oh. Uh, itīs a little drafty.
Here. l brought you some contraband.
Oh. Chocolate peanut butter. Thanks.
- Hey, Lucyīs pretty terrific, isnīt she? - Oh, yeah.
- Weīre engaged, you know. - Yeah, l heard that.
Now this l remember.
Everything is better. Everything looks better, feels better.
Even this chocolate peanut butter tastes better.
Good. ltīs fudge mint.
Whatever. līm reborn.
lf you were a priest right now, līd confess everything to you.
No, no, donīt confess. līm trying to be positive right now. Just eat your ice cream.
l donīt even know what my secretary sent Mom and Dad for Christmas.
lt was a fruit basket. Now, look, l donīt wanna get in--
- līve never been faithful to a woman. - līm gonna leave.
Remember the squirrels?
Donīt even say it.
First l knocked them out of their nest with a rock.
- Peter. - Then l saved them.
Eww. Did you say any of this to Lucy?
That was in the past. līm making a clean start with Lucy. She is--
She is-- She--
What is she? Sheīs--
līd say that she gets under your skin as soon as you meet her.
She drives you so nuts you donīt know whether to hug her or, or just really arm wrestle her.
She would go all the way to Europe just to get a stamp in her passport.
l donīt know if that amounts to insanity...
or just being really, really likable.
No, thatīs not it.
But sheīs gotta be really special. Sheīs gotta be.
And l can spend the rest of my life finding out why.
l donīt have to know now. l donīt have to know tomorrow.
l, l donīt have to know in a year or ten years.
l donīt-- l donīt have to-- l donīt have to have all the answers today, or--
Maybe someday līll have a clue, but it doesnīt mean l,
l canīt make a lifetime commitment.
Does this make any sense?
Not really, but thatīs common after a head injury.
My shoes.
Ah. Oh, hi.
- Whatīd they say? - Who?
The Callaghans. Are-- Are they inside?
You missed īem.
- Well, what was their reaction to the news? - l didnīt tell īem yet.
What do ya-- What do ya-- What do you-- What do you mean, Saul? What a-- What a--
- Now what about Peter? - Well, l didnīt tell him either. l--
- What? Saul, you said you were gonna handle this. - līll handle it.
- This is handling it? - This is handling it.
- Saul? - Listen-- What?
- Youīre fired. - Fired?
- Sorry. - Pardon me.
Huh!
- Two, please. - Four, please.
Dr. Biloxi. Dr. Biloxi to l.C.U. North.
- Thanks. - Youīre welcome.
- Ashley! - Scumbag!
Youīre engaged?
May l remind you that you proposed to me?
You said no. We broke up.
No, no. l was confused. We stepped back.
- You moved to Portugal. - Yes, well, well, l, l didnīt think you were going...
to run out and marry the first bimbo that you came across.
- Lucyīs not a bimbo. - Lucy?
- Lucy who? - l donīt remember.
Liar!
l donīt remember proposing. l was in a coma. l have amnesia.
Amnesia? Oh, well, now thatīs rich.
All right, fine. l want my stuff back.
Fine. Then l want my stuff back.
- What stuff? - Your nose.
- You canīt take my nose back. - l paid for it.
Well, then, here. You paid for these too.
Oh, keep īem. līm a changed man, Ashley.
Go ahead. Go ahead and marry her, you one-balled bastard.
Holy buckets, Peter.
Movinī on to greener pastures.
- Yeah! - You got it, pal.
Yes, the doctor will be right there.
- Lucy, they moved him. - They moved him?
- Come with me. - Where? - Downstairs.
- Lucy. - What? Oh.
- Lucy. - Hi, Peter.
- Hi. - My god, you look really good.
- l feel really good. - Um--
You know what? Facing death makes a man evaluate his life.
And līve been thinkinī about mine, and l havenīt liked what līve seen.
līve seen a man who has courtside tickets to the Bulls,
a, a lucrative investment portfolio,
an apartment on La Rue du Faubourg, Saint Honore.
- Where? - Paris.
But līve also seen a man who has no one to trust.
No one to want to have a son with.
You were there when l needed someone the most.
You gave me a second chance at life.
Took a coma to wake me up.
My family loves ya. l might as well love you.
Lucy Eleanor Moderatz, will you marry me?
Wanda? Wanda? Are you all right?
- Um-- - Honey? Wanda?
Your hairīs lookinī very big tonight.
Why, thank you. l love your new cologne.
Yeah, itīs called īīParis Guy.īī ltīs from France.
- Nice. - How ya doinī?
Hey, are you goinī to see Lucy?
Yeah.
She is the best-lookinī chick in this building.
Hey!
But you are the best-lookinī chick on the third floor.
- Joe Jr.! - Phyllis!
No? This one?
This one? Oh!
l donīt want any flowers from you, l am not wearing black underwear,
and l definitely do not want to move in with you, Joe--
Jack.
Well, l donīt have any flowers, l wouldnīt mind seeing the black underwear,
but under the circumstances, l donīt think we should move in together.
l thought you were Joe Jr.
l get that a lot.
- Do you wanna come in? - Yeah.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- Wow. So thatīs... - Wow.
- the wedding dress, huh? - Hmm?
The wedding dress.
lt works good as a tie too.
Ow. Yeah.
l just wanted to give you this before all the presents started to pile up.
l was droppinī off some furniture in Little ltaly. l look in a window, and--
Florence.
Thank you. ltīs really beautiful.
And l wanted to say that l think that Peter...
is a very lucky guy.
Thank you.
l had to say that because youīre gonna be my sister-in-law.
Ha, ha, ha, ha. Well, l guess weīll be seeing a lot of each other then.
- l better get goinī. - Yeah.
Hey, Jack. Jack!
Yeah?
Can you give me any reason...
why l shouldnīt marry your brother?
Oh.
l canīt.
- Whatīs this? - ltīs a wedding invitation.
Wait a minute. This is your wedding invitation.
So?
Whom are we marrying?
Jerry, Peter Callaghan.
The coma guy? Are you insane?
Yes, Jerry, līm insane.
Every day l go and l sit in a booth like a veal.
l, l work every holiday. l go home to a cat.
And now a rich and handsome man has asked me to marry him, and l have said yes.
Okay, okay. That makes me a raving, total lunatic.
The wedding is tomorrow, Lucy.
l know itīs tomorrow, Jerry. But you know what? l even wish it were yesterday.
Because you know what? That would mean that today that l would be on my honeymoon,
that l would finally have a stamp in my passport,
and that it would say ltaly on it!
What happened with the other guy?
He didnīt want me.
- Maybe she forgot. - A woman doesnīt forget her wedding day.
Maybe sheīs stuck in traffic.
This isnīt-- This looks-- Does this look ridiculous?
- No, you look fine. - All right. All right.
- Well, you got the rings? - Yeah, l got the rings.
Whatīs the matter with you, Jack?
You suck.
l suck, or the outfit sucks?
ltīs a toss-up.
What do you need?
- Oh. - Oh. Here she is.
Sheīs just a little nervous.
Youīre not kiddinī.
Sheīs lovely.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join--
l object.
Oh, gee--
l, l, l didnīt get to that part yet.
l would have to object too.
- What about you? - Oh, līm-- līm thinking.
What the hell is going on?
l am in love with your son.
l know.
Not that one. That one.
Jack, what the hell did you do?
He didnīt do anything. He didnīt do anything.
lt was me. lt was all me.
Um, Elsie, how you doinī? You doinī okay?
Um, do you remember that day at the hospital?
Of course you remember that day at the hospital. Well, um, there was a little mix-up.
Um, l saw Peter get pushed onto the tracks, and, uh, l saved his life.
But when l got to the hospital, they wouldnīt let me see him.
So, um, the-- someone told the doctor that l was his fiancee.
Only, um-- Oh. ltīs not true.
l was never engaged to Peter.
Why didnīt you say something?
Because l didnīt know how to tell you.
We never even met until that day on the tracks.
And, um, itīs just when we were in the hospital room, everything happened so fast.
And l couldnīt tell you the truth.
And then l didnīt wanna tell you the truth because, um,
the truth was that l fell in love with you.
You fell in love with me?
No. No-- Yes. All of you.
l went from being all alone to being...
a fiancee, a daughter,
a granddaughter, a sister...
and a friend.
l might have saved your life on the tracks that day.
But you know what? You really saved mine.
You allowed me to be a part of your family,
and l havenīt had that in a really long time.
And l just didnīt want to let go of that.
So even though it was just for a little while, l will love them always.
līm very sorry.
Oh, um, and līm very sorry about your carpet.
What about my carpet?
- Peter Callaghan is engaged to me! - Oh!
- l object to this wedding. - Get in line.
And l object to your objection.
- Whoīs that? - Ashleyīs husband.
You proposed to a married woman?
Yes. And l was in a coma when my brother makes a play...
for my-- sort of my fiancee.
- Peter, how could you do this? - You promised me.
We were better off together.
Hold on, hold on. Just hold on right there.
Hey, Luce, l just wanted to say that, uh,
līm sorry things didnīt work out with that guy.
And, um, you know, right now...
you should get in touch with the child within, and, um,
explore your feminine side, and, um,
you know, donīt start eatinī cookies and cake and stuff like that,
because youīll blow up like my Aunt Roberta, you know.
And-- You deserve better than that.
So--
So, um, how are things goinī with, uh, Miss Third Floor?
Sheīs--
Oh, Joey. Joey.
Hmm?
- Do you have any cookies? - No.
You know what? We can try on some of my shoes.
- Okay. - All right.
- Hey. - Hmm?
- Last day, huh? - Yeah, hmph.
- līm sure gonna miss you. - līm gonna miss you.
- Oh, weīll see each other. - You better.
- Of course. - All right? - All right.
- Bye.
See ya.
Lucy.
l need to ask ya a question.
Get down on your knee. ltīs more romantic.
Heīs proposing! Let him do it.
l am letting him do it.
Can l come in there, please?
l canīt.
Not without a token.
Heīs doinī it!
You knew? Howīd you know this?
Marry me?
Yeah.
l love you.
l love you back.
Ah, thatīs nice.
līm so happy.
So, l had planned to marry Peter, but l married Jack instead.
Thank goodness my father was right.
Life doesnīt always turn out the way you plan.
But Jack, Jack gave me the perfect gift:
a stamp in my passport.
He took me to Florence for our honeymoon.
l guess you might say he gave me the world.
Peter once asked me when it was that l fell in love with Jack,
and l told him, īīlt was while you were sleeping.īī